“You might never find out that you are useful for all the right reasons – and not all those stupid things that people tell you you’re useful for.”
This usually starts with a compliment, telling you how good you are at something, and ending with how you need to do this thing for them. Wanting to please and be liked, we comply and find ourselves in a never ending loop of being used.To be fair, not everyone is trying to use you, but it is imperative that we learn to detect the signs early so we won’t be taken advantage of so often. Asking one main question will help you spot the users. “What will they stand to gain if I comply with their wishes?” While it is perfectly OK to benefit others with your actions and have a giving heart, we must learn the difference in helping a friend, and being used by someone who doesn’t have any intention of giving back to you in the future.
Users never have time to give anything. It is always about what they can gain, and some just get a charge out of the actual manipulation and control of others they consider weaker than themselves. They seek control of another person for the thrill of that control.
Again the vulnerability is the basic human desire to be liked and cared for. We all like the attention we receive from others, but some of us are so desperate that we fall into every trap set for us by those who seek to manipulate.
Take charge of your life and talents and learn when it is OK to say “No”. Just because you are able to do something, doesn’t mean you MUST do it every time you are asked. The life you have is your own choice. Do favors for those you love and for those who will actually appreciate what you do for them. In time they will reciprocate. That is the basis for a truly rewarding relationship.
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